The newborn Quinn.
I went to see a new mum and her delicious bundle of joy the other day. One month old and completely sleepy, making those tiny baby sounds that one forgets about about when yours becomes a screaming giggling chatty little busy man. He moved in such a small baby way – that does tend to freak “new to baby” people out (even me a little). I was there amazed at how well she seemed to be going, remembering my just hanging on – but loving it too.. It took me back in ways I would not expect. Yes I was clucky again for newness! Goodness yes, but after hearing the broken drifting conversation between the two new mums – as I made sure my one year old was fed, I was fed and he did not break their house… would I go back to the virgin couple with newborn mode? h**** no! Knowing so little figuring everything out as you went, reading books and crying out “MY BABY DOESN’T DO THAT!!”. By far the worst (and still is) is the constant second guessing yourself and the caring about what other people thought when it came to diapers, clothes, how he was crying, should or shouldn’t he be having a dummy, when were his naps, breastfeeding blah blah blah…(you mums know what I mean). GO back to that, I don’t think so. So in a few words, being a mum to a small boy and not a baby anymore. Loving it, I feel like I have my feet, my routine and my life on track. Being back in that foggy haze of new mum land.. as much as those wonderful hormones rocked my world… so so happy I will never be there again, in quite that way. When and if number two comes along I will be a slightly more mature (maybe?!) seasoned mum and will know whats ahead and will have made all those decisions already. So that I can get on with my life in a way that means no conversations about diapers, dummies and the like. My baby turned one on Saturday, he really is looking very little boy now. I love him so much like this, he makes me burst out in laughter all the time, his absolute love for anything and everything, the giggles when he buries his grubby hands in cat fur, his furious passionate screams when nothing goes as planned… Ahh my son you are taking on life full steam ahead.